The Philly Phanatics

Hey, the Phillies signed a third baseman today!

Sweet, right?
Has to be better at third than in the past, right?
Phillies fans have had their prayers answered, right?

The correct answers are: no, no, and hell no.

Let me break this down for you:

The Phillies signed free agent third baseman Pedro Feliz to a 2-year, $8.5 million contract today with a team option for the 2010 season. His contract could reportedly reach as much as $15 million with the options and performance bonuses. The 32-year old Feliz, who has spent his entire 8-year major league career with San Francisco, played in 150 games last seaon, hitting .253 with 20 home runs and 72 RBIs. Feliz, pending his passage of a physical, will start over Wes Helms and Greg Dobbs at third next season.

Honestly, Feliz is better defensively than either Dobbs or Helms. And his statistics from last season outpaced the production that the Phillies got from the hot corner last season. Then again, the 14-year olds playing baseball at the local rec center probably could play better defense than Helms, and most can get on-base more often. C'mon, it took Helms until mid-June last season to hit his first homer of the season. That's an absolute joke considering Helms plays in a ballpark where warning track fly balls miraculously land in the seats.

There's the good. Now the bad. And trust me, it's pretty bad.

He's the second coming of David Bell!

Here's the proof:

1) David Bell and Pedro Feliz were both signed as free agents by the Phillies after leaving San Francisco.

2) David Bell's statistics in 2002 (the season before he signed with the Phillies):
.261, 20 HRs, 73 RBIs

Pedro Feliz's statistics last season:
.253, 20 HRs, 72 RBIs

3) Career fielding percentage at third base: Bell - .955, Feliz - .961
Remember how terrible Bell was at third.

And, finally, could someone please tell me if it's a big damn coincidence that Feliz's contract is the same as Bell's was, just half as long. Bell signed for 4 year, $17 million. Feliz just signed for 2 years, $8.5 million.

...Welcome to Baseball Hell. That guy with the pitchfork is wearing red because he's a Phillies fan, too.